UnSocial and the 4th

I am well aware that the word anti-social should've been used at the bottom of my last blog...or so according to others; HOWEVER, I associate the word anti-social with being against socializing, and that's not what I was referring to. It's one thing to be against it and another to not do it because...because. *roll eyes*

So we hadn't really planned to watch fireworks anywhere because from where the camper is located, you can see fireworks displays in just about every direction. Ah, that's one cool thing about Kansas - fireworks are allowed within city limits, unlike anyplace in Texas I've ever lived. So people go crazy with them. Kinda nice out in the country, but I'm sure if I lived in any city here, I'd be calling the cops on all the drunk people setting fires in the streets. Anyway, I was kinda in the dumps because it had (and still has) been raining almost completely non-stop since we got here on Friday...which means being stuck inside most of the time...which makes for a fussy Xander. Kids love the outdoors. Kids NEED the outdoors even at this age.

So I'd given the kid his bath after a late nap and mentioned to Nathan I really wanted to have a white people 4th just one year complete with fireworks. Well, it was too late for the other stuff, but he grabbed his wallet and within 27 seconds we were on our way to a local fireworks show. It was past 930...way past Xander's bedtime, especially cinsidering he had stayed up the night before as we did our own fireworks stuff AND the kid can't sleep past 630 a.m. because the camper let's in SOOOOO much light in the mornings. I didn't care. There was a break in the clouds, and I was so going to take advantage.

I'm glad we did. It was so nice to be out that late (lol - wow, how things change with baybays) with both my Nathan and my son even though we caught only the last 15 minutes or so of the whole thing. It was a nice break from all the traveling, from the rain, and from all our movement. I was sad that my mom couldn't be with us, but next year...yes, I think next year I will change how we do some stuff.

Thanks, husband, for driving like a maniac on those old, Kansas dirt roads to get me some fireworks. You're the best.

Funky Town

On one side of our family, we have lots of kids of all kinds and ages. On the other side, there are few and mainly boys...well the ones who are around. Recently one family member from the all boys side was saying to me,"Xander's great, but we're still waiting for our girl." This is said to me maybe every month or two, and by this time I'm just really annoyed with it. So rather than gracefully and tactfully shrug it off or respond with, "well, maybe next time," I snap back with, "Well, isn't that just how we all are - ungrateful and dissatisfied with what God gives us?" And I walked away.

And right away I had to point the finger right back at myself.

How often have I wanted more when I have everything I could need and then some? I notice that gratitude has been a recurring theme in my latest blogs. Hmmm. I always thoght I was a pretty grateful person, but it seems the older I get, the easier it is to complain. Not good.

I'll be honest people - it's easy to complain when I'm in Kansas. I just sent someone a text earlier that said "I hate Kansas." Why all this hate? There's good here. Really, there is. And if I really think about it, could it be that I am here for "such a time as this?" I'm not trying to be deep here but maybe just have a little more perspective and appreciation for the situation.

So...with that, thanks, Jesus, for a land of nothing (Kansas) that you can make something out of for us.

Ok, but are all country people this unsociable? Really?

Peas and Gas

You know how you go from a link on one blog to another blog to another and end up reading all kinds of random stuff? Yeah, you know you do it. The screen on my lappy is kaputz so I've been relying on my phone and the use of my mom's computer. The phone works great except it's a little slower than a PC and makes the battery die more quickly; therefore, I try not to browse the WWW on it much. Anyway, I haven't had much of an opportunity to do much browsing, but I did get to a blog the other night that made me ever-so-grateful yet again.

I have many sleepless nights because...well, for many reasons. I totally screwed up Xander's sleep associations, and trying to break that habit with him is...not yet hopeless. But not getting but a few nights of more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep for months on end sure can make daytime decision making kinda crazy. And it can make me super moody if I don't watch it. So anyway, I was having one of those days. I just needed a few hours of straight sleep. Wasn't gonna happen. Xander is having more issues than ever taking a bottle. So I decided to browse and came upon a blog of a girl about my age with a couple of kiddos. I don't know why the kiddos aren't breastfeed, and that's none of my business, but after reading about all the crazy meds her youngest is on and the crazy expensive formula, I thanked Jesus yet again for providing me with great nutrition for my baby boy. And I said out loud, "I will nurse him all night long if I need to..."

So, of course, the very next night I think Xander wanted to see how true that was. Lol. I had to laugh every time he woke up...every single hour...and I knew what was bothering him - stinkin gas. Poor kid. It's those peas I give him when I eat dinner. I forgot that I can't feed him peas in the evening. But hey, I'm finding humor in this now.

1. I need to check my emails. I can do it through my phone, and all day long I get these email notifications on it so I usually deal with them right then (or as close to right then as possible) so that I don't get behind. I tried to make myself feel more productive today so I ignored emails.

2. I polished my toe nails today for the first time in a long time. Years ago I threw away anything that had to do with nail polish because of the toxic junk in it all. In 2008 I bought some again just because and used it for a couple of months. Today I pulled it out, and Xander wanted to eat my toes.

3. That dumb sleep book only worked for like 2 nights. We're back to square 1. Well, maybe it's all this back and forth from Texas to Kansas. Either way, I like to blame everyone else for Xander's incessant night-waking, and I like to curse every living thing as well when he does it. It's not as bad actually. He still wakes, but with the help of said book, I'm feeling more refreshed.

4. My lappy is still broken, and therefore, I'm still blogging from my phone...which I will stop for tonight because it could be cause #65 for Xander's 19th waking.

just blah

Car stuff is stupid. There is a reason I don't deal with car stuff, and that is because I know nothing about cars. I also don't pretend to know about cars. I simply leave that up to Nathan. One day when I can get on a computer that works, I'll share a story about how I asked a dude at Walmart for an engine.

Anyway, it feels awesome when mechanics take advantage of me because I'm stupid when it comes to cars. Ugh. Never, never. I said it before, and I need to just stick to it - leave the car stuff to Nathan. I got jipped today, and that really upsets me.

Not just that but do you ever feel like you just don't cut it? Today I don't feel like I'm cut out for this mom business. I don't say that to get your sympathy or for you people to email me sweet little notes. I had a rough day, and that happens. I've never believed in dwelling on or living by how I feel for feelings are fickle. It'll all be okay. It was just a rough day, and I that's ok.

Since You've Been Gone

You're visiting some people off and on during the summer. You've been away for a couple of weeks when upon your return, they say, "It was SOOOO nice not having anyone around."

Think I've worn out my welcome? That would be a yes.

It Washes White as Snow

So I was going to be posting more regularly...then SPLAT! My computer broke. I'm using my phone right now; it's just not the most ideal way to blog. It IS pretty handy, though, isn't it? Who would've thought 50 years ago that you'd be able to do this...get connected to what we call the WWW through a handheld device? Pretty stinkin cool, people. Hey, I'm working on being positive.

Can I just say how incredibly blessed I am to be married to my husband? Just when I was gonna have my weekly complaint venting session, out of nowhere he starts talking about how spoiled we are. "We" was in reference to Americans. We'd had a conversation with a friend who really wants to get married and have babies...but there's no prospect...and Nathan says it's because we've all become too spoiled...because she wants someone who has all his ducks in a row...and then some...someone who makes at least $75k/year, has a house already, paid-for cars, an established career, etc. Nathan says it's marrying for money; she says she's just no spring chicken. Well, there are many more issues we could go into with all that, but he reminded me yet again of how blessed we are.

I can complain about the government, politics, the FDA, Kansas, and this camper, but I've still got it made. I'm not out on the streets begging for bread. Nathan reminded me that in India thousands of people lay on the filthy streets, not having eaten for days. We've witnessed some of the worst poverty in life first-hand. People, children, babies living in some awful conditions.

Yet here I am complaining about laying on an old-school mattress because the crazy springs jab my hips, ribs, back all night long. Some people would give anything not to lay on concrete.

I complain about having lost sleep not only because Xman wants to nurse all night long, but this time because the loud rain on this tin and metal kept waking him...not to mention the wind that shool the thing all night long. Then there are people who don't get shelter from the rain. And there are people who would gladly nurse all night long if they could just have a baby.

I have my health. That's more than probably 6 out of 10 people.

I live a life of luxury compared to millions of people on this earth. So why am I complaining??

Dear Jesus, please forgive me for behaving like a spoiled, rotten child. Cultivating a grateful heart in my children starts with me. Let me not so easily forget how very, very blessed I am.

Again the Food Snob - Water

I think it was my brother who first called me a food snob. I was going to spend about a week with him and his family, and I took some of my own food. Now, just so you don't completely write off my tact, I don't typically take my own food when I go to someone else's house, whether it be for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or just for fun. I will eat whatever the host is making period. And I enjoy it completely. HOWEVER, if I plan on spending more than a few days wherever I am, I will probably take a few things that to me are almost essential.

I don't drink homogenized or pasteurized cow's milk. I just don't. I gave it up years ago, and I don't miss it a bit. I make sure I get my vitamin D through sunshine and my diet. The same with calcium. These are some of the reasons. I had some a couple of times after Xander was born, and I realized more the reason why I'll continue to stay away from it - a large percentage of babies can't tolerate cow's milk protein. What's crazy is that many breastfeeding moms are told by their babies' pediatricians that their babies are lactose intolerant when in reality it's probably a food sensitivity and very likely it could have something to do with the mom drinking cow's milk. But instead of recommending an elimination diet, doctors too often place the baby on formula. Sometimes very expensive prescription formula, and baby has to miss out on the amazingness of breast milk.

But moving on.

So because I don't drink cow's milk, and most Americans don't get raw milk from the farm down the road, I take my own almond milk if I think I'm going to need milk at all.

I may also take my own sprouted bread. Most Americans have now bought into the 'whole grain' thing. Whole grains are great if they're not overprocessed and overkilled. When allowed to sprout, they're great. But most people don't know about this, and so in order not to jam my system with bread my body can't process well, I take my own if I plan to be there more than a day or two.

Those are a couple of the main things I'll take with me when spending several days away from home. It was during one of those trips to see my brother and his family that they looked at me like I was sticking up my nose at them, and my brother said something about, "...so you're stuck up about what you eat? you're a snob about it?..." And that's what he called me for a while - a food snob. I don't know if my family understand why I do what I do, but at least they don't get offended by it. By now they're used to me.

So recently a couple of people asked me how it is that I eat, what I eat, and how I stay healthy (for the most part). One friend specifically wanted to know how I lost my 'baby weight' so quickly after having Xander.

Little by little I'm going to blog about our family's eating habits. But to start with, read my friend, Missi's blog. I've referenced this blog because it's pretty much how we eat in our home. There are things I don't follow and other things I do that she doesn't, but all in all, it's a great article on how to begin eating well.

So if you want to do one thing today, here's something to do - drink water. Stop drinking sodas and sugar-laden fruit juices and drink water. Drink water, drink water, drink water.

Reason #415...

...that Kansas gets on my nerves - dirt roads. Country dirt roads. They're everywhere. We're staying on one. And they get my car dirty. Nathan took the time to wash the mud off my car from the last time it rained, and I had to track through the dumb roads. As soon as we go back on the dirt road, his efforts seem futile. They're nill. No, the car isn't muddy; but it's dirty yet again.

I wouldn't care so much, but I'm not a fan of getting myself dirty each and every time I step in/out of the car.

It's only a season. It's only a season.

Now for good things...
...

...check back later.

Let It Be

The Beatles had it right: "Speaking words of wisdom, let it be." In my life, it's more like 'let it go.' That's what I've had to do in order to find peace. I've mentioned before how the perfectionist in me holds people to a certain starndard, and I base my acceptance (essentially that would mean love) of those people based on how well they perform. That's all according to my standards, of course. Over and over I keep on having to learn this lesson or something. I don't know why, but I just have issues.

This past weekend Nathan & I were having a good time until he brought up a particular subject and particular people we've known a while. People he knows I don't care for very much. They're nice, but I don't particularly care to call 'em up to see how they're doing. Nathan thought I should. I literally just told him, "Whatever."

My attitude went from bad to really bad over something really ridiculous. These people haven't done anything to me, but boy I could really come up with how they had hurt me indirectly.

So I decided to see what would happen if I just followed his advice a little bit rather than my own.

Ugh. It worked. All it took was a little minding my own business and a little kindness. And a little humility and a little bit of Jesus. *sigh* I'm such a mess.

Along Came a Spider

It's a movie that I'm sure I've seen but of which I have no recollection. Anyway, I thought you should know that I just killed yet another spider. On the ceiling. Of the camper. In which I'm staying. AAAHHH! For real, dude? Yeah. I have spider issues, people. Big issues. I used to have recurring nightmares of giant mechanical spiders and roaches chasing me. And now I'm supposed to be ok with them sleeping with me and my boy. The 28 year-old boy should be sleeping out here; not me! How am I supposed to fall asleep now?

Dear God, help me. Amen.

Dorothy Left

Being in a place that is not my favorite, aka Kansas, tends to bring out some rotten attitudes out of me. And for all you people more spiritual than me - yes, I know, I know attitudes are choices blah blah blah. Whatever. I cave to those attitudes way more here just because we're out in the country. Without people. And it's colder than Texas. And when it warms up finally, there's tornado warnings all the time and stormy weather. And when it's not raining, it's SOOOOOOO windy. And when all that calms down, it's just hot. I don't feel any in-between weather. It went from 50 and 60 degree weather to 80something just like that.

There's also no WFM. Ok so there's a place called Whole Foods. NOT the WFM we're thinking about.

And the farmer's market just sucks.

And I'm sure I could go on and on. Yes, I could.

But I'm choosing to name 2 good things for every complaint I have because really...my complaints are junk compared to what things could be like. I'm a very blessed person. Complaining is for spoiled people.

So being out in the country - 1) lots and lots of pretty foliage that my MIL spends her time taking care of; 2) nothing like this kind of fresh air

The weather - 1) the rain brings about the pretty flowers and that awesome garden; 2) wind...the wind helps when it's super hot.

Food - 1) no WFM, but there's Green Acres, and they have almost all the stuff I would get at WFM...just on a smaller scale; 2) Dillon's Marketplace has an amazing section of Organic Foods, and they even carry sprouted bread. Amazing. I'll even add 3) no big farmer's market, but the one they have has the exact kind of vendors I was looking for.

Now if only they could build a Costco...

Hyperbole

Need a good laugh? Visit this blog.

I don't care what you say about it, laugh. And laugh 'real good.'

Brest is Best - Breastfeeding

I'm a big believer in breastfeeding. Huge. Not only are the benefits amazing for baby, but they're also really great for mom. From lowering risk of breast cancer to helping you lose that baby weight, breastfeeding is the way to go.

There are times when women can't breastfeed, and they have their reasons. But people, please, if it's because it's just dang painful at the beginning, DON'T GIVE UP. And I can say that because I had major issues at the beginning and was in utter pain each and every time Xander latched onto one side. And by utter I mean I would cringe and had to hold a pillow with one hand for dear life while holding his head with the other. It was so bad at first that it brought me to tears. This experience was far from what I had imagined nursing would be like, and it lasted for 8 weeks. I never looked forward to nursing and almost gave up every single day.

But take heart. It gets better. I promise.

I fought hard to breastfeed my Xander because breast is just best. Again, there are reasons for which women sometimes just can't, but if you can, I urge you to stick with it and do it.

My Xander had some puking issues for a little while there, and had I taken him to a doctor, they would've told me he had reflux and put him on formula and who knows what else. How do I know this? Because I have a friend who had similar problems with her little girl, and that's what they did. By similar I mean almost exact. Xander had ALL symptoms of reflux. Now I know they say that a lot of babies have a case of it that they eventually grow out of. This was a little more than that. Anyway, I started an elimination diet. I cut stuff out of my diet little by little, and that cleared up not just the 'reflux,' but other stuff as well. I've been able to eat most things by now, but there are still things I avoid. Guys, I went as far as not eating wheat for a while, which was kinda hard to do with a new little one.

Anyway, here's a great breastfeeding resource that I used a ton at the beginning and still use for random questions. This article was one of the reasons I fought so hard to breastfeed my Xander.

In the end, each mom has to choose what she will do. Our kids will all turn out fine. However, I do encourage you to fight to breastfeed if you can. It's worth it.

Carry On

Life does go on. Whether or not my baby wakes up 99 times at night or not, life goes on, and so will we. I saw this at Target the other day.


Stay calm. Be encouraged, my friends, and know that this too shall pass.

Be a Food Snob

People have asked me how to begin eating healthy, etc etc. My friend wrote a great article on it. This, folks, is basically how we eat as well. Really, it's pretty simple. It can seem overwhelming, but start with little things.

The Need for Speed

I'm convinced more than ever ever ever that we were created to be people of community. Period. I'm a first-time momma. And sometimes I feel like an old one at that. Most of my friends are going on at least their 2nd or 3rd child, but I'll have you know that had it been my choice, I would've started with the kiddos a long time ago. We just trust Jesus with that one. Anyway, I feel so old sometimes, so you'd think I would've come into this with a little more knowledge. Not so. I'm very immature at parenting. And very naive. And very ignorant. Not so much dumb, just ignorant.

Xander has never been the greatest sleeper. He's not the worst, he's just not the greatest. Well, not-the-greatest turned into pretty awful over the past month or so. He was waking up every 3 or 4 hours (at night). Not bad. That felt like a breeze. Then it became every 2 hours, and then the boy decided he'd wake every hour.

Now, no, I don't have a lot of stuff I do. I don't have any other children or other major responsibilities. He's it. So I didn't complain. I just took it as it came every night. I figured it was teething or growth spurt or all the running around with moving and packing and trips and whatnot. But after a month I got drained. Bad. And I didn't want to admit it because why complain when he's it?? If he's all the responsibility I have...I didn't want to sound like a wuss or a sissy.

I got a hold of the no-cry sleep book a few days ago, and praise God in heaven who does live, this stuff is working. No, we're not yet where I want to be, but I actually feel a little refreshed for the first time in a LONG time. Yes, Xander reverted to old ways last night, but things are still looking better.

This is why we need community - because I'm not the only one who has ever dealt with it. Don't most moms? And I'm not the last. And I just feel like I'm making all kinds of mistakes with my poor kid. Thank God they're so forgiving at this age. The first-borns - they're like guinea pigs.

Anyway, we're in Kansas right now. A place where it seems people don't believe in community as much as other places. Just sayin.

Just Stuff

1. Moving - kinda done...sorta...the kitchen is what's left. Been all over Dallas this past week, and thank God my lil guy is so adaptable. We'll finish up this weekend and head to Kansas next week sometime...I think. We'll be back in TX...sometime. I love gypsy life.
2. I love hummus, but mine never turns out like the one at Central Market or Whole Foods.
3. I've gotten really behind the past 3 weeks in getting bday and thank you cards addressed and mailed. And I was doing so well. I plan to get back on track as it was one of my goals this year.
4. I am addicted. to. sugar.

When the Oceans Rise...

I'm on a roll tonight, but I have to be when I have the time...and lots of thoughts. I just don't always share my thoughts. Tonight, though...

...I'm a little sobered. While my mom was going through cancer treatments back in 2008, my childhood best friend's mom, Theresa, was diagnosed with breast cancer and began treatments as well. We were all so happy and celebrated with her and the family when she finished her treatments. All seemed to be going so well...and it's back. With a vengeance. And it makes me so super angry.

Rachel (my friend and Theresa's daughter...who also married a cousin of mine...so she's like my cousin now) sent me a text this morning with the news, and I was immediately heartbroken. Of course, I went through the whole spill with Nathan "...it's so unfair...it really sucks...I just don't understand...I'm so sad...it makes me mad...etc.." The human emotion of it all. It's just dumb. It's nonsense. It makes me mad that we have to deal with this on earth. I do understand that we live in a fallen world, blah blah. But it makes me mad anyway.

Someone said that it's not time for sympathy but for prayer. Although I agree with the prayer part, I guess I can't help but empathize. I think that's what causes us to pray. To hope. To ask Jesus for His grace through this.

Theresa was beginning some natural treatments a couple of weeks ago, but I'm not sure what they'll do now. The cancer isn't just in her lymph nodes, but it has also spread to her lungs and her bones. That's all I know. No idea what the docs want to do.

This is just what's on my mind. As I explained above, their family is like family...not just because my cousin married Theresa's daughter, but through my teenage years, Rachel (again, Theresa's daughter) was my best friend. I spent lots and lots of time with the family, and she married my cousin, Albert, whose dad gave me away at my wedding. Confused much? I know. It makes sense in my head, though this post is all over the place. Just lots on my mind.

Thank you, Jesus, that you are in control and care for us in a way that we can't even comprehend. You have the whole world and little us all in Your hands. Thank you for holding us in the palm of your hand. Though we can't understand the what's and the why's, we trust you. Help us see You in all things.

Oh, and He's also Super Xander

One of Xander's nicknames is X-man, but let me tell you, this Superman outfit sure is awesome on him so he'll be Super Xander too. Here's my lil caped hero. And yes, even super heroes need their rubber duckies.

A Good Week

So much going on everywhere. So last week Xander & I went to visit my family in Lake Jackson while Nathan went to Kansas to take care of some work stuff. We got to see my brother and his fam as well as some high school and church friends. It was a great week visiting, but it went by way too quickly.

At one point I forgot my camera so I didn't get the pictures I wanted, but these will do.

Here he is with my niece and nephew, Allison & Jacob


Just before we left, we went to the Sea Center.



Super Heroes


As we were leaving, this gentleman took out a harmonica and played for Xander. He LOVED it. He smiled and laughed (while eating his sock) the entire time.


Then we went and spent a little time with Ivonne and Cara. Xander wanted to walk up the slide not actually slide down.


At the mall.


Now we're back...and onto packing...

BabyWearing

My friend, carrying her baby in a sling or carrier, recently got attacked questioned by someone about her parenting skills. Okay so I honestly try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to assume that they are just trying to help when they give advice. I try. I try to take the good and let the rest roll of my back. But how annoying is it when someone questions what you're doing as a parent, not because it seems they care but just because they want to be right for the sake of being right? Because they have nothing else to do. So my friend was in a grocery store with all 4 of her kids. It's not like she just had one and could be confused for a naive first-time mom. No, she had all 4, who have all limbs still attached to them and with no crazy "because-I-dropped-them" injuries. This lady asked her something about if she'd heard kids had died in carriers. Missi responded to her twice and the lady still wanted to keep the conversation going. Read about the whole thing here.

This kind of thing can be totally patronizing. Something I try to remember: unsolicited advice can equal criticism. Unsolicited questioning can be the same thing.

I'm a huge believer and fan of baby-wearing. Knowing that, a friend sent me a link about the craze with children dying in carriers. I was thankful that she thought of me and the safety of my child. What some people don't get, though, is that when stuff like that comes out, we should do our research and find out what, why, how, etc. The friend that sent the link also posted it for others to see, and that kind of thing can start a frenzy.

Anyway, read here for more info.

Moving and Cooking

So we'll be moving by the end of the month. And in the meantime we have a couple of trips we have to make. Should be fun times. Packing is usually not fun, but I'm really looking forward to getting. Rid. Of. Stuff. I've recently gone through and thrown out a bunch of stuff, and I'm looking forward to even more purging. And when we move into wherever it is that we'll be, I'll try to get rid of even more.

This summer Nathan will be working in Kansas again. I'm gonna be staying in a place in Greenville, where my mom lives, and then in September we'll move into...who knows (in the Dallas area). At this point, Nathan is just ready to be out of here. We LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the area where we currently reside, but purchasing a home is about double our price range so unfortunately I'll be leaving everything I love around here. Seriously, it's a great area, and that's what's holding me back from wanting a bigger place. Who needs space, right? We have plenty of it. And I can especially say that when a Whole Foods opened up about a mile away. Or something like that. I mention Whole Foods often because I just love it. *sigh* So here's to whatever is coming. Anyway, since Nathan will be working in Kansas, Xander and I will be back and forth from here to there. We plan to spend a couple of weeks there at a time. We'll only get to see Nathan on the weekends, but it's better than nothing. At first I thought we'd drive up every other weekend or so, but making that long drive just for a weekend is just senseless. I have a feeling we'll practically be living there by the time it's all said and done. We'll see.

So I was playing around with my camera and my boy.


On my back as I cook.


And no, I wasn't burning anything (this time). It's boiling water. Xander's face is classic. He looks pretty unhappy, but he actually really likes being with me in the kitchen.

New Car

So last night I ate 4 bowls of Corn Flakes again. And if there were any left, I might have some again. Oh, and that was after I'd had some amazing tacos with lots and lots of protein. It's not like I was protein deficient.

Anyway, Xander was given a new car, and he just LOVES it. Thanks, Ivonne and Cara! It's his new favorite thing.

It Ain't Me

So apparently I offended someone at my baby shower and just found out about it 9 months later. For real, y'all?? 1) It was sarcasm and dry humor; 2) why now?

Don't people know me? I just say stuff sometimes that I shouldn't, and I'm working on it. I understand why one of my former bosses actually forbade us from using sarcasm. But we're older now, guys. Let it roll off. But anyway, I'm trying.

But seriously, I was pregnant. That should count for something.

Sorry. Please forgive me.

And I'm watching Walk the Line. Joaquin can pull of this voice. Love it. Almost as much as Cash himself.

Sukah

That would be me. I'm such a sucker for advertisers. They know exactly when to play commercials to get to their target audience. They know how to get to me after 8:30 PM, when I usually finish cleaning the kitchen (which I'm skipping tonight. *jaw drop*), sit in front of the tube to watch Fox News as I stuff diapers and try to catch up on mail, bills, etc. And that's when they play all those chocolate commercials - the ones with molten lava cake and whatnot. And they totally interrupt my evening. They make me get up because I can't watch those lately and not eat something. I seriously need to work on some self control. Seriously.

Junk Wheat

So I've been in the mood for burgers, but I forgot to get some buns when I was at our new Whole Foods yesterday...by the way, have I mentioned how much I LOVE this store just around the corner from us? Love. It. Anyway, I forgot to get the buns so I asked Nathan to get some for me...but he was going to Target. So call me a food snob, but I don't typically get a lot of food from Target or Walmart. I make a huge effort not to spend too much time purchasing stuff from the isles. But I had to settle for it or take off to Whole Foods myself, and in trying to unpack and pack, I just wasn't in the mood.

Because I've been lazy preoccupied with thoughts and plans of moving for a while, I haven't made my own bread. So I buy sprouted bread. I avoid eating unsprouted grains if I can. Not always possible, but I try. Why? Phytic acid. Google it. It's the reason I get so annoyed at the big hype of whole wheat. Eating whole wheat is junk if it hasn't been sprouted.

So back the the story - oh yeah, Nathan gets these honey wheat burger buns, and that was fine. I knew I would get something like that, and whatever. I looked at the ingredients just for kicks, and OMG y'all. Oh my. There were like 999 ingredients in that. Yeah, and one of them was high fructose corn syrup. For real. I did a little more research and found that most of the breads you pick up at major grocers have high fructose corn syrup. Not just that, but there are hundreds (it's my blog, I'll exaggerate if I want) of unnecessary ingredients. Why would we want to put that stuff in our bodies? What's sad is that people don't read that. People read calories, fat, carbs, maybe sodium. People read the first part of the label but forget that the real stuff is in the ingredients. It's sad that we think honey wheat burger buns that have a million and a half ingredients are healthy. Sad, sad, sad.

Quick Trip

So last week we decided very last minute to take a trip to Kansas for a few days to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa.



I've procrastinated cutting Xander's hair, but it was overdue. The long row of Apache hair down the middle of his head is finally better.


The kid loved this swing.


Out and about.

Things I Know

You know when you're a kid and your sibling gets away with something huge but you get away with nothing? And you ask "How come they can _______?" Then you get a lecture about several things, one being to basically mind your own business because you don't all the circumstances. I must remember that today - I don't know all of the circumstances behind certain people and certain things and whatever. I need to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. There's typically more going on than I'm aware of, and it would be to everyone's benefit if I just act with kindness and with grace. Period.

Corn Syrup Rx

So how about doctors 'prescribing' someone to give their kid corn syrup? Are you for real, yo? Yes, I'm for real. It's sad that we don't educate ourselves enough to do better for ourselves. I include myself in this because I know I've made some pretty crummy health decisions based on bad or very little (or zero) information. People, just because it's derived from 'corn,' it doesn't mean it's good for us.

Not good.

On another note, I haven't made cookies this week...but I think it's only because we're out of town. I had already made plans to make German choc cake. It's one of Nathan's faves, and it was gonna be for his birthday. It's a good thing we left then because I'm sure I would've wanted to eat most of it.

Earlier I thought about several things that were bothering me that I needed to blog about just to blog, but now I can't think of them. Maybe that's a good thing.

About that...

I love it that I can always feel at home at my brother's house. It's a given that most of the time most people will feel at home at the parent's house, but I love it that I can feel that way with my brother as well. What I don't assume, however, is that I can make myself at home anywhere and everywhere. Now, it's true that if you visit my place or wherever, people want you to feel comfortable and 'at home.' That's the reason we tell people, "Make yourself at home." I mean that completely and very sincerely if I tell you that. AND if you tell ME to make myself at home, I will probably do just that. HOWEVER, I won't be presumptuous about it and just walk in your front door without knocking. I won't just open your fridge and yank things out. And I won't act like I live there or even practically live there without sharing some of the responsibility of caring for your kids, helping you cook, or do some chores. I find that selfish, totally inconsiderate, and completely rude. It's one thing for me to make myself at home with you; it's quite another to take advantage of you. And please forgive me for the times I've done this.

Yes, My Son is Perfect

Tonight I remembered yet again why it is that I don't join 'mommy' groups. Most of them are just a bunch of mothers comparing and competing their kids and doing the one-up thing. I'm just not into that. I'd rather hang out with cool people, thanks.

And Sponge Bob? Please remind me not to let my kids watch this.

I'm sipping some amazing Youthberry White Tea. Yummm. The stuff is supposed to be great as far as anti-oxidants are concerned. It's great warm, and I think I'll try some iced tomorrow.

I should go to bed. Xander is still waking up every 3 hours or so, and if he poops in the middle of the night during nursing, and if he has a blow-out (which happens all too often these days), and if that blow-out gets on everything, then it calls for being up extra long. The other night it was a good 2 hour nursing session. And he insists on his 7 a.m. wake up. His internal clock works too much like mine...or like mine used to.

But I wanted to post some pics for the family since I said I would.

When we had perfect weather sometime last week, we spent an afternoon just hanging at the park...a park in Richie Rich's neighborhood, where you see blond little girls and their Mexican nannies. Where 47-year old mothers tell you about how they're sending their daughters to elite universities and also send them $2000/month as an allowance. Lol. They're for real, yo.


Then Xander had a 'play-date' with Josiah.

I promise my son isn't stuck up. He just likes to push away sometimes.

And Xander likes to take off his socks and suck on his big toe. And I mean suck...like he thinks he'll get milky way out of it. This was on Nathan's bday at the zoo this week.


This, friends, is one of his favorite toys. The sonaja from his abuelito in Mexico. And his friend, Josiah, liked it too. He kept taking it from him. lol. I should learn to make these and sell 'em.

Yes, We Did

We wore green today to be just like everyone else. That's really not why. Xander started the day in all blue so that we could try to avoid him being confused for a girl again. Then we had some kind of leak in his Fuzzibunz, so I changed him to green and blue, and then I was just matching. Have I mentioned that I love Texas weather at this time of year? Love. It. We spent most of the day outdoors and going here and there. Xander inherited his momma's need to be on the go.



He's so peaceful when we're outdoors.

As Time Goes By

Wow - today marks 8 years for us. Eight years. Eight crazy years. All well worth it.

Thank you, Jesus, for a husband who has stood by my side through all my nonsense. Thank you for a husband who loves us and takes care of us. Thank you, most importantly, for a husband who loves You and desires Your will above all other things. I feel like You made him just for me. Thanks, Jesus.

And thank you, Nathan, for being you. I'm glad you're my husband and that I get to walk life alongside you.

Now That I've Found You...

I've been meaning to do this.

For a long time I've struggled with how to write, how to think, how to pray. A while back I got jacked up, people. I did...and I think I'm still recovering. It shouldn't take this long. I pride myself on getting through things, getting over things, walking things out, moving on. I pride myself on being practical. I am, however, an over-analytical person, and this is something I've had to analyze to death, beat it over the head and then leave alone.

And now it's time to move past it.

Summary: while my mom was going through chemo and radiation treatments to treat her stage 3 colorectal cancer, I got messed up. The more we prayed and the more people who were praying, the worse she got. She would have one setback after another. The first few months I did ok. I stayed close to Jesus, relying on Him to strengthen me through it. He was gracious. Then I got mad. It just seemed like we had no break. One thing would go wrong, then another, then another. What can you expect with poisons wreaking havoc? But anyway, I came to a point I had never, ever in my life come to - I gave up. I stopped believing that God cared. Now you gotta know that it had to take a lot for me to come to that because I'm a believer that God will give out the 'good' as well as the 'bad.' I'm a firm believer in His sovereignty. I believe completely that if He didn't make it happen, he can allow it to happen. (By the way, whatever your theology is on this, I don't care to argue it on my blog so don't start cause I'll delete it.) I believe that the things He allows, He allows through His hands, His fingers for a reason, and ultimately it's for His glory. Because of my belief, I've always accepted the 'good' and the 'bad' because I had the understanding that it would always work out for HIS good. And it did.

But this...this was new territory, and I could see no good in watching my mom in as much physical pain as she was in...time after time, day after day. I couldn't see the good in all of the hospitalizations. You gotta understand, her case wasn't the norm. They've got some of these treatments down to a science. But if it could go wrong, it did with her. She was the exception to every rule. So anyway, seeing what I did and experiencing it was pretty heavy duty. I know it may sound lame, but I just couldn't take it. My focus and trust had shifted.

I got angry. And when people would ask what I was learning and blah blah, I would give them a very superficial answer. It was good. Real good. But it was only what they wanted to hear.

I think finally I've been able to quit analyzing the situation and let go of all that nonsense. Little by little. Maybe there's still junk there from it, but at least I'm moving forward. I don't wanna be that way. I can't. A good friend said it like this - how can you walk away from something that has become such a part of you? At the sake of sounding shallow, I think that's a good place to start.

Not a Girly-Man

So apparently I can't even dress my XMan in gender neutral colors without him being confused for a girl. We get it probably once a week - "What a pretty girl..." "Boy, he's a boy," is my typical response. Usually with a thank you. I tell you, dressed in all blue, all boy clothes, he gets that. Today he was in brown and gray and still got it, though those can be gender neutral. But still. Poor kid.

At the Park

Have I mentioned how much my kid loves being outside. If he starts to get whiny, we do 1 of 2 things - 1)'walk' him (hold him by his arms as he runs his little legs all over the place, and I do mean ALL OVER THE PLACE; or 2)take him outside. If we do #1, he gets this huge smile on his face and shrieks with excitement. Then he starts running, and now he sticks his tongue out as he does it. Cute-NESS! If we do #2, he gets totally quiet as he stares up at the trees, the shrubs and just stuff. Either way, it's not that difficult to make him happy. He just likes to move. So this was us at the park this past weekend. He loved the swing and started fussing when I took him out. Wha????


So I then moved onto a swing with him, where he totally chillaxed and started falling asleep.


So I nursed the child, put him in the other swing, and he got that stare he gets when he's about to go out. He was trying to find a place on the swing to lay his head back. Where do I get one of these?


The great thing is that this park is right across the street from my mom's place. We'll be spending lots of time there this summer. More on that to come.

About That

You know, I used to be really OCD about stuff. About life. About cleanliness. About everything. Got married and calmed down. Then as life happened I learned to calm down more because I realized that I was stressing out the people around me. I'm sure that I still have OCD tendencies and probably always will, but I've really chilled out. It's a good thing. Lately I can't even be around OCD people. That's kind of a problem. See, they stress me out now because I feel like I have to measure up to their OCD standards or whatever. Although I try to say that they have a problem and need to chill out, I'm the one with the problem. Pride, insecurity. The problem is with my insecurity. If I was really comfortable in my own skin, I wouldn't care about trying to measure up to anyone's standards. I thought I was over all that. Comes back to bite me. But I've also realized that as I focus more on doing what I'm supposed to be doing - loving and serving my family and friends - that dies down. Hmmm...

BecAUSE we Are Crazies

So yesterday morning I had this great plan of how I was going to put Xander down for a nap, go to the grocery store and then take him for a quick zoo visit. Of course our best plans just never work out the way we plan...especially when you lock the bathroom door from the outside with the shower going. Huh? Yes, the door got locked while the shower was going. And then when I tried to shove, I mean very carefully (how do you do that thing where you cross out words? For the life of me, I can't do it anymore with blogger. grrr) the screw driver in there to unlock it, I knocked part of the doorknob off...the part from the inside...leaving me outside with a jiggly handle and still, no gettin' inside. Oh, and the shower is still going.

I don't know how it happened. The only door we lock is the front door. But it happened. And I really needed to shower. I smelled like funk I'm sure. And all my stuff was in there. Yes, we have a second full bathroom, but it still didn't fix the locked door problem. Thank you, maintenance people, for coming to our rescue.

Anyway, it wasn't all a huge deal, but I almost made it one. I really just had this plan in mind and was ticked that the day wasn't going my way. I wanted someone to blame, and I immediately started with Nathan, "Well, why in the world would you shut the door completely...???? blah blah blah..." Then I stopped. He was being so cool with the whole thing rather than being annoyed like me. He was so calm and collected. For the first time in who-knows-how-long, I made the decision to stop the nonsense I was pulling right then and there and make the most of the day anyway. I used to be a pro at that. Then something happened a few years ago, and my attitude began to stink. A lot. All the time. And it hasn't been cool. More on that soon too come.

But moving on. I didn't make it to the grocery store yesterday morning, nor did I make it to the zoo. I did, however, call an old friend/mentor/honorary Nini to my son and had a nice little lunch with her. I won't always be able to do this kind of stuff. Seasons change. More kiddos come. People move. I move. All those fun things. So I decided then and there to just live in the now. Enjoy the now. And love the now. And I did.

Nothing too extraordinary. But it was good.

You Can Dance, You Can Jive

I don't know. That just came to mind when I was indulging, I mean enjoying a bowl of...



I gotta stop.

A Walk In the Clouds...I mean the Park

I know I post a lot of pictures of Xander in his walker, but his excitement when he's in the thing cracks me up. He doesn't walk in the thing; he RUNS and loves every minute of it.



Happiness


Thank you, Jesus, for weather that allows us to go outside without a million layers and blankets. And thank you for this bebe boys who stuffs his head in his hat to fall asleep.

Simplicity

You know, we tend to make life pretty complicated. That and then it can kinda get complicated on us with all kinds of drama. A friend said this the other day.

"Hope, faith and love. If I do nothing else but love deeply and selflessly, it would be a life well lived."

Really, it's that simple. I think Jesus people have complicated spirituality way too much with big words, conventions, and theories. There's always some new movement or theory when really there is 'nothing new under the sun.' There's talk of leadership, vision, passion, and all those other words that are fine in and of themselves. But really all of those things are just fluff. And we use all those kinds of ideas to sometimes make us feel like we're going somewhere, doing something. We have this NEED to be significant. There's nothing wrong with that.

But what about the simplicity of living a simple life? Yes, doing things extraordinarily because of Jesus. But doing them out of love for Him and love for people. THAT makes life significant and extraordinary. Not fancy theories. The fluffies are sometimes necessary because those make the world go round. They bring the drama that causes us to HAVE TO love people in spite of them and us. But really, let's just leave it at that - to love deeply and selflessly.

Save Me

I got into couponing years ago, but I drifted away little by little. In my attempt to restart, I realized exactly why I fell off that bandwagon. I love saving money, and I love getting great deals. I love it when I can tell Nathan, "I saved $___!" Or "I found Xander great onesies for $1." The problem with couponing is that most of the coupons are for processed foods and items we don't use in our home. As better we ate, the less coupons I found to fit the foods we were eating. I can use a few of the coupons here and there, and I'll do what I can with the ones I find; however, they don't make coupons for carrots, celery, or spinach. I take that back. There actually was a coupon for spinach in yesterday's paper :0 But that's rare. Most of the coupons are for canned this or that, boxed cereals and toxic chemicals. We don't use that stuff. Sure, we'll have a box (or 4) of Corn Flakes here and there to satisfy my midnight cravings, but we just don't make it a habit to eat a lot of processed foods. So when will they come up with coupons for fresh food?

My Secret Sin

People, I used to make faces - ugly faces - at the thought of Oreos. Now look at what Nabisco has done.



It's like Thin Mints. Sorry lil girly scout chickie-poos. I can't believe I'm actually eating this stuff.

94.5

Oh, so this past weekend my friend, Kauline, was in town for a little bit. Even though she was busy taking care of family stuff, she took a few hours to spend with us. Xander loved her. And I'm pretty sure she liked him too...even after he puked in the restaurant. And it was all this momma's fault for accidentally getting egg white in the yolk I was giving him. His poor little face got all splotchy...then he puked all over both of us. Fun times. At least his face rash went away, and we all left happy campers.





He loves his momma


Out on a walk. I need more of this flip-flop weather. C'mon, Jesus, help me out a little bit.


My little running man needs the outdoors as much as I do.

Addicted to You

It all happened when I was preggers. See, I never cared for it before. If you offered, I'd pass. I could keep it at my desk or anywhere at home, and I wouldn't touch the stuff because it just did nothing for me. Nothing. Then I got pregnant. And I did my best to ward it off. I did well. But I quit practicing my self-control. In fact, I'm completely out of control. And it's all about and because of chocolate. I still don't eat chocolate ice cream, but everything else is pretty much a go. I even downed a box of Chocolate Cheerios the other day. For real yo. I don't even make it a habit to eat processed cereals like that. I'll eat some sprouted cereal once or twice a week maybe, but Cheerios? Oh, but they were chocolate. And the oatmeal cookies? They HAD to have chocolate chips. And I HAD to devour...I mean eat a few chocolate chips as I made the cookies. And instead of making a simple Americano, I have to make a mocha. And brownies...oh my. I've simply got to stop. We work pretty hard at staying healthy, but with all this sugar I'm eating, I'm bound to catch something. Somebody help me.

Los Dientes

OMG, ya'll. He's growing up. My boy cut his first tooth today.

Stay Home

Dear Jesus,

Please heal all my sick friends and their sick babies. It hurts my heart that some have even had to go to the hospital. Please heal them all. Amen.


Dear sick people,
STAY HOME. Sharing ugly germs is pretty inconsiderate and selfish. Thank you.

The End

and he sleeps

name that movie.

but for real yo. only woke up twice last night, and earlier he took a 2.5 hr nap. that's right - he was down for 2 and one half hours. it's amazing what one can do with that kind of time. Jesus, i will never again take that kind of time for granted. okay, i'll so i may, but i'll try not to. 2 loads of laundry, cookies, lunch, and a quick run to the store. then after our walk he was out within 1.5 hrs. unheard of, folks.

Well, the Xman turned 6 months last Wednesday. KUH-RAZY. Nathan & I are both simply in awe of how quickly time goes. And we're simply in awe of life - God's miracle of life. And we want more little miracles and blessings. After 1 child I've heard some people say that they don't know how they could love another just as much. We feel the opposite. I feel like I just want more little people to love. That's not to say it's roses all the time. Not so, but the investment is so worth it, and I see why God calls them blessings.

So here's to our 6-month old.

I Keep AAA in Business

Let's say you locked your keys in your car...with your child in in it. Which of the following would you prefer in that situation?
A)A friend who panicked
B)This friend would analyze the situation very carefully. Great. But in all of the analyzing did nothing. Friend B would want to tell you how great of a mistake it was and how not to do it in the future and how to do this and that and the other. Great. But the problem is still a problem. It hasn't solved anything.
C)This friend would say "I'm praying for you." Friend C would pray. He really would. Then he would preach a sermon about mistakes. He wouldn't ever say "You shouldn't ____," but in fact would be preaching to you. He would call in encouragement. Hmmm...still the problem remains - baby and keys are in car.
D)Friend D runs inside, asks her husband "What should we do? Keys are in car with the baby? Call AAA?" And within seconds is on the phone with AAA. Never scolds. Then insists on waiting out in the cold with you while AAA is on their way. And spends the time chatting it up so that you don't panic.

Well, thank the Lord in heaven above that I have Friend D. I did it. I locked my keys in the car...with a sleeping Xman in it. It actually happened about 3 or 4 weeks ago, but I just forgot about it. I am the reason we pay $51 annually for AAA. I'm notorious for locking keys in cars just because. Well, at that point I hadn't yet renewed our membership so thank goodness my friend had. I was leaving her house, had put Xander in the back and threw the keys into the front seat in a car that doesn't have auto locks. I almost panicked, but I was thankful for several things:
1)My lovely friend who had just renewed her AAA membership.
2)My lovely friend who stayed with me the entire time, though she had dinner to make for 3 hungry kiddos and never complained about any of it. Nor did she make fun of me at that moment. Nor did she scold me.
2)My Xander was already asleep when I put him in there. It wouldn't have been fun had I put him in there half awake. He eventually would've gotten desperate because of the still car and prolly would've cried hard. Thank you, Jesus, that didn't have to happen. I think that would've really stressed me out.
3)It wasn't summertime. We really would've just had to break a window had it been spring or summer.
4)Speedy AAA people who understood there was a baby in the car and were there speedily.

I shared the hypothetical situation because...well, because I'm just venting frustration about some recent situations that have nothing to do with keys being locked in cars.

In all things, we are to respond in love. Now that means different things in different circumstances and with different people. When I locked my keys in my car, I knew what I had done. The minute I shut the back door, I knew. Sitting out there, praying to God that Xander would continue to sleep was enough for me. It was like punishment...not that I needed 'punishment,' but you get what I'm saying. Sometimes the consequences don't need further consequences. A lecture would have done nothing for me. Someone analyzing the situation wouldn't have helped either. What I needed at that moment was action, and that's what my lovely friend did.

When someone is in trouble, a lecture, analysis, prayer majavascript:void(0)y all be helpful. They may all be necessary, BUT everything must be timely. There IS, my friends, a time for everything. When someone messes up, we should be the last to point fingers...to throw stones. At that point most people usually know where they've messed up, and what they need is understanding. They need to know they're not alone. And they need to know that you'll be there no matter what. They need to know it's going to be okay. There will be time for the other stuff later. They just need a little love.

Oh, and I learned something too. So on the back of my Texas DL, there's this number that you're supposed to be able to call if you're out on the road and need help. Well, that basically only works if you're out on a major highway. Glad I never depended on that.

A Record?

I don't know if we actually have a record amount of snow...but I'm almost sure we did. I know it's over a foot of snow in less than 24 hrs, and that makes for prettiness. Things were pretty yesterday, but last night...



No flash, folks. It was that bright out there from the whiteness.

And then this morning - more wow. It looked like Montana. Even the husband who makes fun of Texans in snow was impressed. That says a lot.



Oh, and there were tree limbs down everywhere...not from ice but just the pure weight of the snow. And one right next to our bedroom window. Eeeeek.

Thank you, government officials, for not freaking out and declaring emergencies or anything. No, for real. They actually got it right this time.