The Solid Rock

Do you ever ask, "Why me?"? I don't know that I ever really asked God about that out loud until recently. You know, it's easy to say 'yes' to Him sometimes, but then we hit some rough seas. The winds and waves come, and we're tossing and turning, wondering what in the world is going on. This seems to happen most often when we're going about our own business serving Jesus, doing the things we know to be doing. We have our days, but then - CHAOS.

Recently it was like I had this conversation with God about it. See, I was going about my merry way when BAM, BAM, BAM from every direction. It was so draining, so complicated, so beyond what I could fix that I literally just wanted to sleep for peace or just sit and stare off into space.

So this conversation went something like this...

Me: Um...could you do something about this? I'm done with.
God: Just follow me.
Me: I've been doing that, and THIS is what I get? I didn't realize that saying 'yes' to you meant THIS. Can't you just fix it, turn it around?
God: Follow me. Take up your cross and follow me.
Me: But I'm seriously tired. I'm worn out. I can't do it.
God: Come to me when you are weary and tired. I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. MY yoke is easy and MY burden is light. .
Me: But you won’t change the situation?
God: Let me work on YOU and change YOU. I’ll take care of the rest in my timing, but for now, follow me. No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful. Later, you will see how it has produced righteousness and peace in your life.
Me: But what did I do to deserve this?
God: You said ‘yes.’ I don’t waste anything. I will use it ALL. I love you, so will you trust me and surrender to my love?

And that’s kinda where I left it. THIS is love? I’d hate to know what God’s anger is then.

This happened all in the middle of a night during which I woke up and couldn’t sleep. I woke up singing “On Christ the solid Rock I Stand” over and over. I can say that and mean it because when situations and circumstances in my life have been shaky, when the word around me was falling in apart – He was my Rock. He was all I had, and He was ALL there. When I called on Him, He was there. Never was there a moment in which He left me. During the most lonely times (and boy, were they ever lonely), HE was faithful.

So now I’m in an unknown place – a placed I never imagined. I mean, c’mon, has He seen my resume – what I’ve done, what I can do? I’ve come to see that none of that matters. And I honestly have no idea why me. I mean, ‘onward Christian soldier’ – I’m a doer, I’m a go-getter, I’m not one to be held back…especially because of other people. No, they can stay behind.

…but His will is that I follow Him. Today that means I allow Him to change me. Today that means I submit to His ways and leave mine behind. Today that just means that on Him I stand.

So instead of asking "why me?" I'll say, "Thank you that it's me. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for not leaving me as I am but for loving me enough to change me."

And I sing the song by Edward Mote:

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.

On Christ the solid Rock, I stand -
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In ev'ry high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

On Christ the solid Rock, I stand -
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

Rules, Rules, Rules

I've said it before, I'm a rules girl. I like rules because they set the boundaries for me. They set the expectations. You tell me what the rules are, and I know what's expected of me and how to perform. Without them, I can get a little lost and frustrated because I don't know if I'm performing up to your expectations.

Of course, this was great for my mom when I was growing up because I was a pretty good kid for the most part. The problem came in when I accepted and loved people for how they’ve followed the rules and met the standards and expectations I placed on them. If I followed the rules and they hadn’t, I was better, and I treated them like I was better. Sad? Yes. Did that pride ever cause me to fall? All too hard.

Lately it seems God is forcing me to face my demons one way or another. The past month for me has been one stressful month in trying to find my way through some issues. There’s now way God was going to allow me to ignore them this time, so He, in His faithfulness as a loving Father, has allowed different situations to overwhelm me so that I come to the end of myself.

Last week I really needed to hear from Him. It didn’t matter what, but I needed to just know…know that He would in fact speak to me.

…and that He did.

I opened my Bible early one morning and immediately closed it. I then spoke to Him out loud, “Take me where you need to…I NEED to hear you.” I was prompted then to divert from my scheduled reading from the gospels to Galatians.

Boy, was I freed up!

I spent over an hour reading it and then re-reading some key verses over and over. I’ve never read and understood Galatians the way I did that morning.

Quick overview – Paul is writing to the churches in Galatia about grace. Basically they had gone from the gospel of grace that he preached to them back to the ‘other gospel’ of law. They were becoming slaves again to ritualism when Christ had set them free and were now under grace rather than the law.

This is what the Lord was speaking to me about – being free under His grace rather than a slave to law, to rules. I’m not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Christ. As Galatians says, if my righteousness comes through the law, through works, then Jesus died in vain.

I had ‘fallen from grace’ and was attempting to be justified by the law.

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty for which Christ has set us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage,” says Galatians 5:1. I always thought this verse was talking about freedom from sin. Although that’s true in a sense, this is talking about being free from the bondage of living under the law.

I realized last week that I had again been living in bondage of the law. I had been attempting to be ‘justified’ by works and performance rather than by the grace of God. At the same time, I had been accepting and loving others by that same standard. It’s no wonder then that I’d felt so frustrated and trapped. I couldn’t measure up to the standard nor could anyone else. I was a slave.

So where is freedom and how do I attain it? Well, Jesus attained it for me. All I have to do is walk in it. I can walk in freedom from the law by walking in the spirit. Paul said that the law is fulfilled in this – loving my neighbor. Love is the fulfillment of the law, and I can be free to love people regardless of what they do or how they do (performance) because we’re no longer under bondage of fulfilling useless requirements.

The fruit of walking in freedom, walking in the spirit, is love, joy, peace patience, etc. Now I’m free to love people for who they are rather than by what they do, and I’m free to receive unconditional love.

What a relief this has been to me! What freedom I’ve received! I can be free to be me, and you can be free to be you.

Now you know why I’ve been absent for a while. I’ve just been ‘stuck’ (for lack of better word) reading Galatians over and over, gaining new understanding of God’s grace towards us.

It’s crazy too because I’ve read Galatians I’m sure hundreds (??) of times and knew it but never really KNEW it.

So thank God that His Word is truly living and active. It has the power and life to convict us specifically when and where we need it.

I challenge YOU to live daily in the grace and freedom Christ has provided us.

Silly People=Silly Comments

So a couple of weeks ago I was telling this acquaintance about my desire and passion to raise God-fearing children. I can’t wait until I have lil’ Poffinbarger babies running around to train in the ways of the Lord. I really do have a passion for my family. So I was sharing with this acquaintance how I get excited thinking about serving God in serving my family and staying home with my kids (when they come). This um...person has the audacity to say, “I don’t see you doing that. I don’t see you being a mother, and I definitely don’t see you staying home. It’s not you…can’t do it…etc.”

Uh, so who made her God? Who is she to say that motherhood isn’t for me? I don’t really care to be stereotyped, and this particular one just rubbed me the wrong way? Why so much? I really took this personally I guess because it hurt. I’ve heard this from other people before, and it’s not cool. They don’t know me well enough to know how much I want to have children and be at home to raise them.

All they know of me is that I work and sometimes crazy hours. Yes, I work, but that’s because Nathan & I are in a season during which I have to, and the great thing is that it’s all a part of God’s plan for us. He knows where He’s taking us, and this is what He’s chosen for us for this season. What’s also great is that our loving Father God has always put me with great people with whom to work and great jobs that I’ve enjoyed. The last season was in preparation for this one, and this one is preparation for the next. None of it is by accident, and so I’m content with what He’s doing.

Do I always want to be here? No. That’s why this is just a season. This too shall pass, and I’m just glad I can enjoy it.

So the next time anyone wants to tell me what I can or cannot do, maybe I should recommend they leave that up to God since He is ultimately the One who knows. Amen.

Birthdays Birthdays

This one's LONG - bear with me.

Don’t you love birthdays? Birthdays are very special to me because since I was a little girl, my mom always made a big deal out of my birthday. Because our birthdays were only days apart, my aunt & I (who only have 5 years between us), celebrated our birthdays together. This celebration was no small thing. My mom would begin making plans weeks in advance. She would decide on a theme, and everything would fall along the lines of that theme. She would also hand-stitch matching dresses for my aunt and me. Then came my favorite part – the birthday cake, sure partly because all of that sugar was like heaven, but more so because I knew that the cake would look like strawberry shortcake, Barbie, etc. My mom has this amazing gift with cakes. She can turn an ordinary square or round cake into the most amazing pieces of art that both children and adults fall in love with at first sight.

It’s no small task – making artwork out of a plain piece of cake. My mom would begin sometimes with several cakes. She would cut one here and the other there and would assemble the pieces to make the base of the cake. That wasn’t it, though. The more difficult aspect was the frosting. That was everything. If the frosting wasn’t done right, no matter how great the shape was, the cake could be at risk to be butchered. So she would begin that process with some white frosting. Then my mom would divide the frosting into different bowls and added several drops of food coloring to each bowl – all different colors. Sometimes she mixed different colors together to form a purple or an orange-colored icing.

Applying the frosting so that it looked just like Strawberry Shortcake or Cookie Monster – wow – that took some time, patience, and really – a lot of love because she knew the “Ah” moment with the kids would only last as long as their stomachs could hold back from devouring the art. She did it anyway. I have no idea how long it took to ice some of the cakes she made, but I can only imagine.

Then, in a few minutes, all of the work she put together would be cut a part and torn into by a bunch of kids who cared more about eating it than appreciating the work that was put into the creation. Then it was gone. Yet, the cake served its purpose.



Just as my mom would take the time, energy, and patience to make cakes these wonderful cakes, so God does with us and with our lives. Before we are in our mother’s womb, he has already thought of and known us.

God takes a piece of personality here and some character qualities there to form me…but wait, he’s not finished yet. Then comes the icing – the physical me. Every intricate detail about me is no mistake. Now, I’m not talking about the sin part of me or the wear and tear of my body. As kids bite into a cake, so life bites into us. We live in an imperfect world, and until our bodies are glorified, we will have ‘wear and tear.’

But here and now, He created me with certain details because He will have me fulfill certain tasks. He knows about the ‘bites’ that people will take out of me, and He knows how I’ll be used. None of it is a surprise to Him because He in fact set it all in place already.

For me to serve my purpose, however, I must be available do what God has prepared for me to do. Can you imagine a cake rising up and saying, “You cannot eat me. I am too pretty to be eaten”? Obviously a cake can’t do that, but it was created for the purpose for which the baker made it. It must fulfill its purpose.

We have been created on purpose, with a purpose and for a purpose. I will never be fulfilled unless I daily walk in that purpose. God wants to use us for each other. At the end of this physical life, he will ask me if I have been used on this earth how I was created to be used. What I have been given must be used for the sake of other people. I cannot sit around for myself in life, then come to Him and say, “Yes, Lord, look at me. I kept to myself all of my life so that I could stay pretty for you.” He will want to know if I used what He gave me to accomplish what He’s called me to do on earth.

As cake is fleeting at a child’s birthday party, so our lives are on this earth. We must allow Him to use us as He’s intended, so that when it’s our time to transition from this life to the next, we can hear, “Well done.”

P.S. Above is one of my mom's great creations. I’m the boy-looking girl with the finger in her nose.

Mom, thanks for taking the time to create these wonderful cakes and for making birthdays so special.

In the headlines the past few days is a pastor from Colorado who has admitted to involvement in some questionable acts. I’m not writing to talk about whatever we may or may not know about this. I’m writing this to ask you to pray. Pray for this pastor and his family, pray for your pastor and his family, and pray for our leadership in general.

“Everything rises and falls on leadership.” John Maxwell. I believe that. To get to us, satan first attacks our leadership, whether that’s in the church or family.

The thing is, we all struggle with something. None of us is removed from temptation of any kind. Those in leadership are often put on this pedestal and are expected to be perfect – whatever that means. It’s true, but they are people just like we are. They put one pant leg on at a time just like we do. They are held to a higher standard, and the minute they show a weakness, we’re so quick to point it out and ‘throw stones.’ Oh no, but if WE mess up, God forbid that anyone mention it publicly.

I’m not excusing sin. Sin is sin, and wrong is wrong. I just think we need to be careful of how we respond to these situations.

Let us pray for each other and those who serve the body of Christ. They are under intense scrutiny and sometime have little privacy. The stresses and pressures are beyond what we can imagine. Again, the best thing we can do is pray for and encourage them.

In Spite of Socks

You know how we all have innocent habits that may drive other people crazy without our knowledge that it drives them crazy? With husbands and wives this can be the topic of many heated discussions. Several years ago, a very dear friend told me about an incident between she and her husband that began with a little habit of his. He had this habit of taking off his socks and leaving them in a certain place on the floor almost every single day. It drove wife crazy, but husband had no clue.



One day, she kindly asked him to, "Please be more mindful of where the socks are left." He was more mindful for a few days and would leave his socks elsewhere, but by the end of that week, they were back where they had previously made their home.

This time it was personal. She explodes, "I've asked you to take the socks from this place and put them in the bedroom! What is it going to take?!"

Husband responds, "I am so sorry. I didn't realize this meant so much to you. I will make it a point to be more mindful of it."

However, he adds, "BUT let me ask you a question - what if I never change? What if I keep doing this over and over and over? Will you still love me the same?"

Where did that come from? Over a pair of socks? She was puzzled by the question, but it really made her think.

That phrase comes to mind often. It almost haunts me. Many times when my husband and I are discussing habits or the like, I remember those words, "What if I never change? Will you still love me the same?"

Well, am I supposed to? What does the Bible say about a wife loving her husband? So I go look it up. That doesn't help my cause. What does the Bible say about loving other people. Oh - that doesn't help my cause much at all either. Isn't there a stipulation somewhere in the Bible that gives me the freedom to love my husband conditionally? I mean, what if he doesn't do the things he's 'supposed' to do? What if he doesn't fulfill certain aspects of his role? Can I love him based on his peformance?

Fortunately God didn't ask for my help when writing the Bible because I'd be in trouble. If God loved and accepted me by how I perform and by how well I do, He wouldn't be able to love me much because I don't measure up to His standards. I have fallen short and will continue to fall short of what He would require.

His love and acceptance, though, have nothing to do with what I have or haven't done. When He sees me, he doesn't look at my shortcomings and say, "Well, today you messed up here, here and there, so I'll love you a little more today than yesterday because yesterday was a real bad day for ya." God's love is everlasting and complete. He loves me today the same as He did yesterday and the same as He'll love me tomorrow. I never have to work for it, and I never have to measure up.

Jesus' life and death have given me access to the Father's inexhaustible supply of love regardless of my failures. When God looks upon me, He sees Jesus righteousness. He delights in me and is absolutely crazy about me...no matter where I leave my socks.

What an emotionally draining week last week was:

Monday – on a high from not having to work all day. Yes, I still enjoy my job, but there’s nothing like a day off.

Tuesday – really annoyed that it takes me 45 minutes to get to my running spot. What – does everyone get on the highway on Halloween night? Then I find out that my husband has cut his leg with a chainsaw. Don’t ask.

Wednesday – we get a call at work from a co-worker’s husband that his wife (co-worker) was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with a blood clot in her brain and fluid in her lungs. At one point during the day, we received news that she had passed. As we were still processing those emotions and what comes with that, we received yet more news that it was false. Praise God, she was still with us.

Thursday - a couple of friends then called me with disturbing news about some transitions they are choosing to make in their lives.

Friday – I find out some close friends have gone into labor. Yay! Life!

Saturday – it’s my bday! Have a good run on the trail and then lunch with a pal I hadn’t seen for a couple of years. Good times. The evening was rather eventless, but it was the way I wanted it this year.

Sunday – the couple that had the baby on Friday receive tragic news about their new baby girl…

So it doesn’t seem like that much when I write it out, but I guess mixed together with personal drama it’s just a good pot of …life.

Prayer Request

If you're reading this, I ask that you please take a few minutes to pray for my friends, Joel & Valarie Sewell and their new baby girl, Rhema Evangeline. This little treasure was born on Friday, November 3, and after some tests, the doctors discovered she was born with an extra chromosome. Her condition is worse than Down's Syndrome, and the doctors have told Joel & Val that she won't make it past her first birthday.

The first news I heard was actually a bit different than what I heard first-hand from Joel a few hours later, so it seems things are just very up and down, and Rhema's condition is not always the most stable.

Please pray for this family. Joel and Val are as well as can be expected. They have many questions to which they know they may never get answers, but they know that our heavenly Father is not surprised by this. They know He is sovereign and in control. Nothing can touch us unless He allows it. He himself formed Rhema and loves her more than Joel and Valarie could ever love her.

Sometimes things happen in life that leave us questioning our theology, that leave us questioning God. That's especially true when we've lived in surrender to God and His will, doing the right thing living for Him to the best of our ability and knowledge.

So what does it mean when He allows the unimaginable to happen? What did we do wrong? Where did I mess up to deserve this?

Those questions may never be answered. We may be left with a blank. But one thing I know is that He hasn’t left us during those times. His ways are higher than ours, and His ways are past our complete understanding. He holds on to our pain, and only He can truly understand and heal our broken hearts.

We’ll never comprehend His ways on this side of heaven. It's during these times that we must fall back on who God says He is and on the promises He has made us. We must trust that He has our best interest in mind, for “all things work together for the good of those who love Him.” It may not appear to be good at the time, but “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”

...and after we have done all of those things, to stand.

I am Job Hunting

So is there a job that would pay me to read whatever I wanted to read all day long? I’ve always been a geeky reader. My mom even had to teach me how to read at an unusually young age because I could keep her up all night reading me every book I could find. I still have not grown out of it. All I want to do most days is sit on my sofa with a blanket and a few books. At least it’s a good habit. As a good friend of mine likes to remind her younger siblings, “Readers are leaders.” I’m hoping that kicks in at some point.

For now, all I’m looking for is a job that will pay me about $1 MM per year to read books I want to ready every single day. So I kindly ask that you keep me in mind should you hear of a job with this description. Now I’ll get back to turning pages.

Dirty Sneaks

Last night during a short run with a friend, we came upon a crossroad...well, sorta. The sidewalk seemed to give us 2 choices - continue on it and take the long way, or cut through the lush grass to get to our destination. Am I one for shortcuts? Yes, if they work. Oh, but they must work in order for me to take them. When it comes to running, I'm out there to run, not to take short cuts. Well, we had never taken this road before, but there didn't seem to be any problem with the shortcut. In fact, it looked quite appealing. Even though it was dark, we could see so much lush green grass. So in the few seconds that we had to decide which way to take, we just jumped right off of the sidewalk and into the grass.

We hadn't jogged but a few feet when "SLOSH! SLOSH! SLOSH!" Yuck! We didn't realize it, but underneath what appeared to be lush grass was mud. It wasn't just a little mud in one area. The mud started at the front line of the grass and went to the end of the line. The entire shortcut was filled with mud. As soon as we stepped in and realized it, our feet were moving too fast to stop and turn back. Everywhere that we turned to try to move out of the mud, there was even more.

Isn't that just like life? God has a way, a road mapped out for us. Along the way we see a shortcut. It's appealing. The grass looks lush and green, but it's not necessarily the road we should take. Hastily we rush into it because all we want to do is get to the other side. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with the shortcut, but we get stuck in mud. It's not what it appeared to be. In desperation we step here and there and everywhere to try to find a way out. The only way, though, is back on His road and not ours.

When I got home, the first thing I did was wash my messy shoes. I tried to use a wet little scrubbie around the edges to take the mud off, but that wasn't doing a thing. I literally had to immerse my shoes in the water to clean the mudd off. Today my shoes don't look like they did yesterday before the muddy episode. They're a different color, and you can tell they've been through the mud.

If we get ourselves into mud, sin, mess, it's not enough to just to sprinkle a little Word on ourselves. We must allow God to immerse us in Himself so that we are truly cleansed. Afterward, we may look a bit different. We may feel and act differently, but He uses it all for Him. What was a mess, He can now use for His glory and His name's sake as we submit ourselves to Him.

So next time you're running and see a great shortcut, think twice. The point of running is in fact to run, not to take the easy and shorter way. Take HIS way, whatever that may be.

A Break

Last weekend I’ve spent quite a bit of time with none other than me. I wanted to get away from the chaos so I did. I didn’t necessarily go anywhere, but I was still able to separate myself from the stresses and pressures of life to take a long overdue break. I even took a day off from work for a few extra hours of rest.

Nathan was away for the weekend, so for the first time in a long time I was able to just do the things I wanted to do without having to consider anyone or anything else. Yep, quite the selfish weekend it was. I read, browsed the internet, read, browsed more, watched football, and read. I did manage to get some cleaning in as well as some cooking and a few quality hours with some of the most quality friends I have (we’ll miss you big baldy).

At the end of my marvelous weekend, I seriously had to take a break and thank God for His perfect will and timing in my life.

I mentioned to a friend that I’ve been so selfish with my time lately that I really hope I’m not like that when the kiddos come. I’m enjoying this time as much as possible because I know that life will drastically change one day.

Ode to You

The longer I live in Dallas away from my family, the more I miss them. I would love to be able to call my aunt (more like a sister really because she's so young) to go on one of our shopping extravaganzas. I'd love to just go hang out with my brother, sister-in-law and the kids. I miss just hanging out with my 'cuz,' who's always been one of my bestest friends. And I miss my mom like crazy. On weeknights when I just want to call a family member to chill out, it gets difficult holding the tears back sometimes (yes, Susy cries).

You know what I do have, though? I have some pretty amazing friends who have become like family away from 'blood family.' There's nothing like tried and true friends with whom I can cry, laugh, and just be.

It's true - friends come and go with the seasons. I thank God for the investment each one has made in my life and continues to make as we journey through life.

Dirty Little Secrets

http://www.mercola.com/2006/oct/17/dirty-secrets-of-the-food-processing-industry.htm