Hand-Washing

Today marks exactly one year that we started this Army journey. One year that Nathan has been gone, and oh how we've missed him. Oh how we miss him now. Though the Lord's grace is sufficient, though His hand has provided peace and joy, it's hard. The year has flown by, but when I think of the 5-6 more months we have not living together, it can't go fast enough.

Someone said something to me like, "As much as y'all are used to your life, it'll never feel quite right until you're together under one roof..." I don't know that I'm 'used' to this, though. There are daily challenges that would be here regardless, but I don't know that I'd ever get used to this. We try to make this as easy as possible for the kids, mainly Xander, and because he's young and doesn't know differently, it's been ok. But each time Nathan is able to visit and gets ready to leave again, it gets harder and harder. God's grace is sufficient for each season - I believe that with all my heart. I can feel it lifting, though. Or does that happen? I don't know. Whatever it is, my heart is beyond prepared for all of us to be together again.

And I'm anticipating the challenges that will bring as well. But we decided a long time ago that we have to walk through these challenges together. That's the only way to do it. We can't allow them to come between us but must allow the Lord to work in and through us in those difficulties...to prune us, to change us, to glorify Him.

What was my challenge yesterday? Not having a working dishwasher. What? Long story, but the bottom line is dishes have to be hand-washed, and how annoying is that?! I'd much rather be throwing dishes in a dishwasher so I can spend more time engaging my children. For a while I was feeling like I was wasting soooo much time doing something so dumb. Yes, it's part of caring for my family, but it's still dumb. Well, since there's no getting around this, I figured I may as well do something useful while I hand-wash these dishes. If Xander isn't up for helping the entire time (I love that he's at that stage where washing dishes and helping is a great thing), I spend the rest of the time memorizing Scripture. I do it some with Xander because he's also at that stage in which he can memorize oodles of books, but he likes to narrate what his cars and toys are doing while we're washing dishes. Sometimes the cars are in the car wash, sometimes they're in the pool. Whatevs. It keeps him occupied, gets dishes cleaned AND gives me time with him. We're currently doing Psalm 139 - something I should have memorized a long time ago. So much I'm learning from meditating on bits and pieces at a time. And it's getting into his little heart as well. Whether he understands it or not, I'm praying it stays there so that eventually, when his mind can wrap around the meaning, it'll be right there.

So...hand-washing dishes has been a blessing to us. They don't get done when I'd like them to get done. It may take all. Day. Long to get them done, but it's become a blessing. Oh, and when we ARE in a place with a dishwasher, you bet I'm going to use it. And love it. And appreciate it more than ever in my life.

You know, back in the day, people did fine without dishwashers and 10-16 kids at home. And people do fine without them today all around the world. This is very much a first-world problem.