Mom was released from the hospital sometime after 8 tonight, and we made it to El Campo after picking up a bite to eat and driving the hour it takes to get here. I think it was pretty close to 10.
Until we receive the injections that Mom will require on a daily basis, we'll have to make daily trips to the hospital. Hopefully that'll only be until Friday.
Since they removed her line, they'll place another one on Friday after which she'll still have to do the chemo treatment. Two down; 4 more to go. Friday will be a long day, beginning with blood work, doctor visit, catheter insertion (takes about 45 min), x-ray to make sure the line is in the right place (another 45 minutes by the time it's all over), chemo...and just the stuff in between that comes with that. Those can be long days at the hospital, so pray that Mom doesn't get completely drained from it.
You know, last night our nurse made a comment that really made me think. My mom and I were taking turns checking email, and while I was blogging or something, the nurse came into the room. She saw me on the computer and said to me, "I hope you're keeping your mom company and not just doing your own thing. She doesn't need to be ignored..." Whoah lady! The nerve, right?! No, it was fine that she said that. She made me think.
While I hope that my mom didn't feel ignored by me, it made me wonder how often it is that God is ignored by me. I know I personally have great intentions every day to spend time with Him, but there can be so many distractions that call my name that I put time with Him on the back burner. One day goes by, then two, then three. So many distractions. The thing is that some of them are really 'good' reasons to be distracted. C'mon, helping take care of someone is a pretty good reason to me.
Here's what I've come to understand over and over (if it's over and over maybe I haven't really understood it quite yet) - the way a parent wants to spend time with his child is how God longs to spend time with each of us. He doesn't just like time with us; He loves it and even longs for it.
How often do I ignore Him and break His heart for the sake of a distraction? No, sometimes unpredictable circumstances won't allow me to sit on my bed for an hour or 2 just reading, listening, praying. BUT I know that I can always pull away from whatever is taking place for just a few moments to talk to Him, to hear Him. I know I can. Whether or not I choose to do that is my choice, but He's ALWAYS ready for me. I don't think it's about quantity but quality. When I have quality time with Him and truly remain and abide in Him, quantity won't be an issue.
This is the kind of thing I was learning back when I was 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21...on and on. It's something I come back to because I guess I just forget how important it is to steal a few moments away to refresh. It's important because He longs for it and because I NEED it. That's how I live. That's my survival. Just like I go crazy without a meal or two (I really do. I'm a mess when I don't eat), I can quickly become dry without my daily bread. I can lose sight of His promises and the big picture. The promise of His grace, power, love, peace, His KINGDOM. That's the big picture - Him, His kingdom.
A song I love by one of my faves, Anthony Evans (and it's much better with the music. click here to visit his site and his music):
On the outside
You think I'm alright
There's a smile on my face
Everything's okay
But on the inside there's a different story
I've stumbled down this road
And I've got so for the go
I'm a broken man
On my knees again
Longing for a touch from you
I need you hand to
Restore me
I need your mercy
Take me
To the place I used to be
Use all the pain and the hurt
To do a greater work and
Restore me
I wore my mask
Running away from my past
Hiding all my scars
Thinking I'd gone too far
But he knew my pain
And He loved me just the same
He promised I'd be free
If I fell on my knees and cried
Restore unto me the joy of my salvation
So I'll sing again the song you wrote for me
Give me a clean heart I want a brand new start
Like the moment when I first believed
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