Jaded

If you know me, you know that I try to be optimistic and look for the good. Today it's hard. Today it's like I don't even want to. It's not that I only see hopelessness. No. It's just one of those days. I used to never allow myself those days, but I realize that I can't stop them now as much as I may want to stop them. I gotta let these days come, and I gotta deal with it.

Today I miss my husband. Today I miss...so much. I feel very selfish in even writing this because I shouldn't have complaints. There is so much good...

...but there's still today. There are still very real situations that I have to accept, and I'm trying to do that without dishonoring God or any person. I was told that it's okay to be weak. I am just that today. I'm disillusioned and sad, and I hate to admit it. I hate to not be the strong one. But today is a very real day. I'm trying not to think of the losses, of what's been missed, but today I can't help it.

That's today.