The Solid Rock

Do you ever ask, "Why me?"? I don't know that I ever really asked God about that out loud until recently. You know, it's easy to say 'yes' to Him sometimes, but then we hit some rough seas. The winds and waves come, and we're tossing and turning, wondering what in the world is going on. This seems to happen most often when we're going about our own business serving Jesus, doing the things we know to be doing. We have our days, but then - CHAOS.

Recently it was like I had this conversation with God about it. See, I was going about my merry way when BAM, BAM, BAM from every direction. It was so draining, so complicated, so beyond what I could fix that I literally just wanted to sleep for peace or just sit and stare off into space.

So this conversation went something like this...

Me: Um...could you do something about this? I'm done with.
God: Just follow me.
Me: I've been doing that, and THIS is what I get? I didn't realize that saying 'yes' to you meant THIS. Can't you just fix it, turn it around?
God: Follow me. Take up your cross and follow me.
Me: But I'm seriously tired. I'm worn out. I can't do it.
God: Come to me when you are weary and tired. I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. MY yoke is easy and MY burden is light. .
Me: But you won’t change the situation?
God: Let me work on YOU and change YOU. I’ll take care of the rest in my timing, but for now, follow me. No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful. Later, you will see how it has produced righteousness and peace in your life.
Me: But what did I do to deserve this?
God: You said ‘yes.’ I don’t waste anything. I will use it ALL. I love you, so will you trust me and surrender to my love?

And that’s kinda where I left it. THIS is love? I’d hate to know what God’s anger is then.

This happened all in the middle of a night during which I woke up and couldn’t sleep. I woke up singing “On Christ the solid Rock I Stand” over and over. I can say that and mean it because when situations and circumstances in my life have been shaky, when the word around me was falling in apart – He was my Rock. He was all I had, and He was ALL there. When I called on Him, He was there. Never was there a moment in which He left me. During the most lonely times (and boy, were they ever lonely), HE was faithful.

So now I’m in an unknown place – a placed I never imagined. I mean, c’mon, has He seen my resume – what I’ve done, what I can do? I’ve come to see that none of that matters. And I honestly have no idea why me. I mean, ‘onward Christian soldier’ – I’m a doer, I’m a go-getter, I’m not one to be held back…especially because of other people. No, they can stay behind.

…but His will is that I follow Him. Today that means I allow Him to change me. Today that means I submit to His ways and leave mine behind. Today that just means that on Him I stand.

So instead of asking "why me?" I'll say, "Thank you that it's me. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for not leaving me as I am but for loving me enough to change me."

And I sing the song by Edward Mote:

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.

On Christ the solid Rock, I stand -
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In ev'ry high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

On Christ the solid Rock, I stand -
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.