The Need for Speed

I'm convinced more than ever ever ever that we were created to be people of community. Period. I'm a first-time momma. And sometimes I feel like an old one at that. Most of my friends are going on at least their 2nd or 3rd child, but I'll have you know that had it been my choice, I would've started with the kiddos a long time ago. We just trust Jesus with that one. Anyway, I feel so old sometimes, so you'd think I would've come into this with a little more knowledge. Not so. I'm very immature at parenting. And very naive. And very ignorant. Not so much dumb, just ignorant.

Xander has never been the greatest sleeper. He's not the worst, he's just not the greatest. Well, not-the-greatest turned into pretty awful over the past month or so. He was waking up every 3 or 4 hours (at night). Not bad. That felt like a breeze. Then it became every 2 hours, and then the boy decided he'd wake every hour.

Now, no, I don't have a lot of stuff I do. I don't have any other children or other major responsibilities. He's it. So I didn't complain. I just took it as it came every night. I figured it was teething or growth spurt or all the running around with moving and packing and trips and whatnot. But after a month I got drained. Bad. And I didn't want to admit it because why complain when he's it?? If he's all the responsibility I have...I didn't want to sound like a wuss or a sissy.

I got a hold of the no-cry sleep book a few days ago, and praise God in heaven who does live, this stuff is working. No, we're not yet where I want to be, but I actually feel a little refreshed for the first time in a LONG time. Yes, Xander reverted to old ways last night, but things are still looking better.

This is why we need community - because I'm not the only one who has ever dealt with it. Don't most moms? And I'm not the last. And I just feel like I'm making all kinds of mistakes with my poor kid. Thank God they're so forgiving at this age. The first-borns - they're like guinea pigs.

Anyway, we're in Kansas right now. A place where it seems people don't believe in community as much as other places. Just sayin.

Sleeping Through the Night...

...my son is not. BUT that's not something I expect out of a 5-month old. It amazes me every time I read a mother's FB status - "_____ slept through the night. Yay!" Don't get me wrong. Would this mama like more than a few hours of uninterrupted sleep? I'd be lying if I said I didn't. HOWEVER, it will not be at my son's 'expense.' What I mean by that is that I'm not going to trick my son into sleeping 8 hrs by jamming a paci in his mouth, letting him cry it out, or any other means except by his will, when he's ready. Why? Because he obviously needs to eat if he wakes up hungry.

Breast milk digests in approximately 2 hours, so if Xman slept 8 hours straight at this point, I'd be a little concerned. He's not ready for that. It doesn't mean other babies aren't. I just know my lil man couldn't do that. Xman can go 4 hours, maybe 5 or even 6, but that's about it. Lately he's gone back to waking about every 2-3 hours at night...which is making me think that pretty soon I'll go ahead and start him on solids (which WON'T be rice cereal or any other grains...but that's another blog). Egg yolks, avocado...I'm wondering if kefir is ok...hmmmm...

(and side note - just because a baby is on solids, it doesn't necessarily mean they'll sleep longer. I don't know this from personal experience, but I know from other mamas and their experiences.)

But anyway, the whole notion that I need to let my son cry it out so that I can give him the gift of a good night's sleep isn't founded on good facts, if you ask me. This isn't to rag on anyone's parenting decisions. The cry-it-out doesn't work for our family, and that's that. Hey, if it floats your boat, it floats you. BUT if it's to 'give' an infant a good night's sleep, it's nonsense. Babies have different sleep patterns than adults. The gift of a good night's sleep is more for the parents, not for baby. Yes, babies need sleep for growth, health and all that good stuff. BUT 8+ hours isn't for exclusively breastfed babies who NEED nighttime nourishment...or sometimes comfort...

...yes, sometimes that's why Xman wakes up, I'm sure, but I won't deny him that either. The thing is that I'm a self-sufficient adult who gets hungry in the middle of the night. Nobody denies me any food. Nobody locks me up in my room so that I can't get to the kitchen and stuff my mouth with 4 bowls of Corn Flakes (yes, it was 4 bowls the other night...and no, I don't make it a habit to eat Corn Flakes. I always keep a box around for certain recipes, and I indulged the other night when I craved some). Why should I starve my child? He depends on ME to feed and comfort him...why would I deny him food?

But anyway, Xander has had better sleeping days, but I really can't complain much. I signed up for a little less sleep when I became a mama, and it's only a season. As a friend said, "the days are long but the years are short."

And here's to hoping tonight is better than last night. What was up with the hourly thing...and then the 2 hr thing after that?

Here's my happy boy.