I am LOVING being a mother. I love, love, love my son more than I can tell you. It was a bit rough at first because of the crazy issues I was having, but now that those issues settled, I'm loving it. Getting up in the middle of the night to nurse has become something I almost look forward to (most of the time)...if someone can...because I get to spend such special moments with Xander. He coos, I think likes it when I sing to him and just studies my face with his big eyes. I love it. I love the funny little things he does. I crack up all the time. I love it when he 'talks' to his daddy.
Mommyhood also very overwhelming. In a good way, I think. You know when you babysit for someone? Well, the parents always come back to get their kid. If there's something wrong, it's their responsibility to deal with it. Not so now. This is OUR child, and he's OUR responsibility. I feel completely ill-equipped to be a mother. I'm overwhelmed that God would find us 'fit' to raise this child. Who are WE?? He gave Xander to us so obviously He knows we can do it. But do I? Again - overwhelming.
Watching his actions and just looking at my son often brings me to tears. He's such a precious gift, and I'm beyond thankful and honored that I get to be in his life...for a LONG time. It's hard to believe still that he's ours and that he's here. Except when he cries. :)
My sleeping angel
3 comments:
What tripped me out becoming a mom, and still trips me out, is that of all the people in the world-- your child WANTS YOU!!! You know when a baby cries and we pass him back to his parents. Well, that is US!!!! They want US!!!! We are the only one who can make them feel better or stop crying (most of the time :-)).
So weird.
i know. i never had a child want me more than mom...i AM mom. it IS weird. like you said, i'm used to handing babies back when they cry. not so anymore. he wants ME.
OMG! He is SO CUTE!!! I love his little nose and his gorgeous lips!
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